These Hilarious “We Listen, We Don’t Judge” Confessions Will Have You Laughing Out Loud

The internet can be a wild place—one minute, it’s all drama, and the next, it giving us the perfect space to laugh and just be ourselves. That’s excatly what happened when social media user, Sharonxoxo_ turned X (formerly Twitter), into a judgment-free zone. Her simple tweet, “We listen, we don’t judge. Twitter edition,” quickly became a confessional thread where people shared theri quirks—and honestly, some of these will leave you in stitches.

Let’s be real: we all have those odd little habits we’d rather not  talk about. But there’s something comforting about knowing you’re not the only one. This thread gave people the freedom to share those random, funny, and sometimes downright bizarre things they do, without fear of anyone giving them the ‘bombastic side-eye.’

One person confessed, “After drinking pure water, I chew the nylon till it’s unrecognizable.” Go ahead, laugh, but admit it—you’ve probably done something just as weird.

What started as a random tweet has become a hilarious safe space for people to let loose. And honestly? It’s the kind of wholesome chaos the internet desperately needs.

Check out some of the funniest confessions below:

Once I’m done with a juice box, I wont rest till I tear the size and drink the last drop

I eat mango and chew the seed till it is as white as the head of an old bald man

We listen, We don’t judge, RIGHTTTT???? https://t.co/CvLKyOdobT

— EfeIS ABOUT TO REBOOT (@glow_rae) November 18, 2024

i used to pour garri inside fried eggs and mix everything together and eat

we listen, we do not judge https://t.co/qCbe5rC5sX

— curry (@Devgrande) November 18, 2024

I still get confused by “Vertical” and “Horizontal”

Trust me. The thing no just wan enter my head.

— OG (@theEnergee) November 18, 2024

Until recently, I didn’t know Mercy Aigbe and Toyin Aimakhu were two different people.

— Nojeem ‘Nudge’ Yusuf (@NudgeTM) November 18, 2024

I use cornflakes as bread spread sometimes. It’s nice.

I also soak my garri with soft drinks instead of water. It’s nice.

We listen, we don’t judge. https://t.co/mOqg1Ektj5

— OMOTAYO (@O_m_o_t_a_y_o) November 18, 2024

I bark back at the dog on my street at night. https://t.co/2X2B0MNgJg

— Carnation (@_olaedo_xo) November 18, 2024

I don’t know my left from my right, I’m right handed so I physically have to do the writing motion to know where my right and left is.
We listen and don’t judge. https://t.co/1v4sXO4SiH

— (@Si_simii) November 18, 2024

I plan how to insult people that will soon offend me https://t.co/HjzzYwEtJW

— mm (@Moyorrdd) November 18, 2024

I post with my business page, switch accounts then like and retweet/repost with my personal account. https://t.co/VkA4iJlpHH

— O’ Sima (@millyenmens) November 18, 2024

After eating boiled corn, I suck out the water used to boil the corn and after that I chew the “shuku” of the agbado https://t.co/On5LmqF0BI

— Rockstar (@Al_ahad001) November 18, 2024

to the people that have full blown conversations in their heads, thank you for making me feel seen

my own carry small muscles bc sometimes, i unconsciously slap my face to “shut the voices up”.

It doesn’t work, but the pain is nice

Vickey, avoid this tweet iJmn https://t.co/3YILwifCUK

— Jaiye babe | Creative Virtual Assistant (@mojolaabayomi) November 19, 2024

I will visit the same place 10x and get lost on the road 10x https://t.co/YNMI5yqwxj

— Hijkz (@iamyouyouar3m3) November 18, 2024

If I don’t spend every last naira of my money, I feel restless. https://t.co/YryvLZ8p13

— Celina Sesi (@CelinaSesi) November 17, 2024

I start matching my name and a guy’s surname once we start liking each other. It’s so sweet https://t.co/vYNOYgPaYG

— Soft Dami (@_just_dami) November 19, 2024

Focus is not my strong suit. I acknowledge that I did see your text and was going to reply but got distracted and shuffled the other 100 open tabs in my head. Now it’s been 1 week and i think it’s better letting it rest than responding. https://t.co/gjmB5qzjKd

— Modupe this, Modupe that (@_indaboski_) November 19, 2024

After drinking pure water I chew the nylon till it’s unrecognizable

— Mimichide (@mimichide1) November 18, 2024

Feature image by Andrea Piacquadio  for Pexels

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