The term, fine wine, is typically used to describe someone or something vintage, steeped in rich history or culture that is still relevant and thriving in contemporary times. Extrapolating that thinking into the title of her book, “Fine Wine; The Super Confidence Logue,” Uri Ngozichukwuka paints a picture of resilience and durability. The subtext underscores the significant role confidence plays in your life’s journey; many times it is the difference between greatness and mediocrity. In a world where people’s confidence is fast becoming an endangered species, this book is a reminder that confidence is your superpower and it must never be outsourced to anyone or surrendered to anything under any circumstances. In this book, Uri explores what she refers to as the different kinds of logues such as monologues, dialogues, and epilogues – these for her represent conversations, convictions and conclusions respectively.
Uri submits that confidence shouldn’t only be something you possess, it should be something that possesses you. She lucidly disambiguates between being confident and feeling confident; the former implying a state of being that is not influenced or affected by external circumstances whilst the latter infers the validation that is derived from happenstance or events. The idea of confidence as a signature of great people is critical because in life, it is almost impossible to control the outcome of events. Confidence can position a person to respond to situations with the needed attitude. She sums up this assertion in her prologue: “Life is like a ride. Sometimes, you know the destination. Sometimes, you don’t but you go and keep going anyway. Life is unpredictable, fraught with twists and turns, highs and lows – you live anyways.”
Uri lays bare her personal and professional struggles; she ushers the reader into her vulnerable space and graciously documents how she deals with the voices in her head. Everyone who has ever tried to achieve something significant would not be surprised by this; the cacophony of thoughts that invade your head to suggest that you are an imposter, not competent enough, not connected enough or not charismatic enough. She educates her readers that her successes in life have not come in the absence of these voices but despite their suggestions. Even when she lost herself, her business and her marriage – she refused to concede to those voices even when she was at rock bottom. This book in itself is a testament to one of such victories over those voices; she could have easily accepted that nobody would ever buy copies of it – even though in reality, this isn’t her first rodeo.
She shares how purposeful actions can help in no small measure to quell those voices which she describes as “psychological marauders and bandits of destinies”. For Uri – one of the ways she would take control over those pervasive thoughts by journaling. She also strongly recommends teaching those voices your language; negative voices must necessarily be countered by positive words. Especially for those with unique sociocultural influences, it will require constant practice – so that those voices don’t overwhelm you into manifesting undesirable patterns. These voices cannot be completely silenced; what you can do is dominate them otherwise they will dominate you because nature abhors a vacuum. The mind is the battlefield just as a physical theatre of operations is to a combatant soldier. Sometimes post-traumatic stress disorder can make you lose yourself to dark thoughts; you must remind yourself that the fight is never truly over as long as you draw breath on earth.
Some of these voices come from our interactions on social media, which, although has its many benefits, has also made more people insecure and projected unnecessary pressure from other people’s curated lifestyles. As we have become a gadget-dependent generation, we have increasingly become tossed by the ever-changing algorithms. Keeping up with the Jones’ used to be an anecdote many people couldn’t relate to but now, social media has exacerbated those sentiments such that people who ordinarily should be content with themselves now use the exaggerated projections of success by others as a yardstick for their own successes. We have seen how extreme cases of a lack of self-confidence can even lead to suicide. This can be countered by therapy, learning life skills, and developing your adaptability quotient while also reinforcing religious, cultural or psychological beliefs that mitigate against such outcomes.
Uri also highlights the importance of understanding times and seasons. This can be a tough sell to a generation that has been conditioned to expect instant results. Waiting for your time is never passive nor is it a sign that you lack confidence; some things just take a while to cook – as the young people would say. There is a time to speak, there is a time to be silent. There is a time to learn, there is a time to teach. There is a time to lead and there is a time to be led. These seasons of life prepare us for the next, so to ignore or skip the lessons in one season might be to set up ourselves for failures in the future. For example, it takes about nine months for a child to properly form in the mother’s womb – nothing either parent can do to naturally expedite such a process, they just have to wait. It is the same as waiting to be 18 years old before getting a car licence. What you have to be is prepared so that when your time comes, you will be able to exploit your opportunities.
Having confidence also means being brewed and allowing yourself to grow into maturity; waiting is how you redeem the time. Using the process of vinification, Uri underscores how the creation of fine wine is similar to some of our real-life circumstances.
• Aroma/Bouquet: Aroma is the first stage of the smell from the original grapes used for the wine, and Bouquet refers to the smell of the finished wine with all the nuances of the fermentation process.
• Balance: when the wine is balanced, its elements are harmonious – none of the components of acidity, tannin, alcohol or fruit stands out or is easily distinguishable.
• Depth: refers to the complexity and concentration of flavours in a wine.
• Finish: refer to the aftertaste the wine leaves, to how long the flavour lasts until it fades after it has been tasted. A long finish is often seen as a sign of quality.
Confidence is an inside job. Most of us have always wondered by some people who may not be as talented as we are seem to get the results we are not getting. It’s simple; what they lack in gifts – they make up in guts. Confidence is super attractive; it sends all the right signals to your environment that you are ready to get it. Whilst you’re second-guessing yourself, others are taking chances on themselves. Will you be talked about? Of course, when you’re doing anything significant or at the top of your game – you will become the topic of discussion, whether good or bad. That shouldn’t stop you from taking bold steps in the direction of your dreams. From setting up her non-governmental organization which serves persons with disabilities to founding a media consultancy – Uri shares how she had had to do many things even when the odds were stacked against her.
The later parts of the book double down on emotional intelligence; principally about self-awareness. You must know how you are built and what you’re better disposed to do. Finding out what you are naturally competent at or even frustrated with could point you towards your calling. Not having this knowledge may cause you to engage in activities that you’re not gifted for and the disastrous outcomes that follow could tank your confidence. This includes social awareness; knowing the characteristics of the generation you belong to whether the Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials, Generation Alpha, Generation Z etc. Uri also drops some odd pearls such as the understanding that confidence comes more by giving out to others than by receiving – it is one of the most underrated ways of unlocking confidence. Ultimately, Uri points to God as the source of confidence citing how examples from the creation story and other anecdotes.
“Fine Wine; The Super Confidence Logue” is Uri Ngozichukwuku’s attempt to capture important conversations that must be had by everyone desirous of greatness. She walks the reader through her thinking in the dark moments of her life and shares the backstory to what many would consider a success story in her personal and professional lives. It is that kind of book you want to read before the beginning of a new year, a new project, a new relationship or simply a new you. It would help you have better internal conversations with yourself – something many people struggle to do.
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